Thoughts and Words and Poems
by Asianbeth
Summary: poems that I have written over the years. Through my depression that I been going through. I learned the best way was to write out what was rolling inside my head at the time. It helped me through the dark days. I am thankful to find an outlet and for the many people who helped me out of my depression.


Knowledge

Tired of being guilty by association.

Sick of this character assassination.

Shouldn't be punished for who I chose to be in my life.

I won't let these bonds of friendship be severed by a knife.

My weapons are only in the form of words.

Which brings more chaos and more up roar.

Wanting more people to be so understanding.

In this life where explanation is very demanding.

To pry open the closed minds that shut us off in this universe.

I am willing to carry this curse.

Even it means to ruffle a few feathers and step on a few toes.

Knowledge is the ultimate power: everyone knows.

The choice I make are the ones I am alone to bear.

To take away my freedom of choice is what I fear.

Tempted to shut my mouth up forever.

But I know better.

That silence maybe golden...

It doesn't compare to the pearls of wisdom I am beholden.

Last Mark In The Sand

I get so tired of being so empty and being used up and trampled all over on.

So over people abuse, their false hood and walk out and be gone.

It makes me so angry up all inside.

That I can longer can hide.

How I wish it was legal for me to rip out the throats of lairs.

To light their bloody caresses up in a funeral pyre.

To shoot out the eyes of those who refuse to see the beauty in life.

To cut out the hearts of those who are empty with a hunting knife.

To burn the flesh of those who refuse to feel.

To take away all of worth to those who are filled with greed.

To light the fire under the ass of those who are lazy.

Even to me this sounds so sane but it's totally crazy.

This is what happens when it is taken too far.

When one is so fed up and is now ready to rawr!

Warpaint is on and the battle cries have been heard.

To many this maybe so absurd.

To truly understand one must be willing to lose one's mind.

This is what happens when too many have crossed the line.

So if you want to be the one to draw the last mark in the sand...

Be prepared and take what is coming as I load the gun in my hand.

Selfless acts

Waking up to destruction and lighting all around me.

Each flash twists and swirls like the angry sea.

With each bolt that strikes me, begins to burn.

Like a punishment I deserve.

Give me a reason to get up and fight.

Shine through this darkness with your light.

In this craziness, your voice is all I heard.

I follow like a lost sheep in your herd.

Every false step I make.

I can feel the earth beneath tremble and quake.

Even with my truth that is divided.

I pour out what is in my soul in order to survive.

Give me something, anything I need a sign.

To rise again and the courage to cross that line.

I am not afraid to walk into this war without any weapons.

I do not care where my life force descends.

As long as it was worthy enough for your cause.

Then losing my life wasn't a total loss.

Let me make this final gift to you.

I offer my soul, my heart, my life so yours can begin a new.

So go on living life without any fears.

Let my rain come and wash away your tears.

Walk along these peaceful plains.

Don't dwell on what was lost but what was instead gained.

Zelda's Last Fall

Watching a soul fall to hell, it can't seem to catch it, even though many times I've tried.

To try to save what is left of the good inside.

Can't wake up from this nightmare.

I can't control myself, or find anyone who cares.

So what if all you can see the darkest side of you.

Can you ever believe it's not the real you?

No one will ever change what has become.

No one can un do what has been done.

Never thought anyone would of ever see this side reflected.

That there's something wrong who would have guessed it?

So many questions go un answered.

This pain keeps growing like a cancer.

I want to cut out this drama that is like an ugly tumor.

All started because of a stupid, yet powerful rumor.

It breaks my heart.

To see someone who can't be saved from the start.

Broken Hearted

I don't know what's going on.

I have no idea on what went wrong.

Feels like we been fighting for nothing so long.

I still can't believe you want me gone.

So, I'll stayed up all night, crying my fucking eyes out.

While these walls surround me with your doubt.

With the story of our life.

That cuts me deep with its knife.

How can I feel so much better?

With you gone, out of my life forever?

I'm not lying, or denying.

I am just trying to keep this love from dying.

How can things are coming clear without you here.

This world around me,why do you have to be the one to disappear?

How can you up and leave?

As my tears fall upon my sleeve.

I am so empty and so used up and let down.

You tossed me aside and let me drown.

Soul Incinerator

Blood spilling upon the ancient marble floor.

The heart that beats within you is much colder in its core.

How can someone carry such an ice stone in their shell of flesh?

Unable to let it grow and stretch?

Moonlight is warmer than the love that comes from you.

Lava might as well be the color blue.

When it comes to your compassion and warmth and soul.

The very kiss from you is like a touch of a stone wall.

Unmoving, frozen and so un feeling upon the lips.

Your passion instead of healing it cuts like a thousand whips.

Tearing into the skin and leaves so many scars.

Staining the ground with innocent blood that can be seen from a far.

Instead of giving life you take every bit of it what you lay your hands on.

Draining every drop of it and leaving the empty shell until its all gone.

Never satisfying your damn blood thirst.

When it should be for the better when it comes to you its the worst.

Like a soul incinerator,

You kill the spirit in cold blood murder.

In your life nothing else matters.

You spread your sickness so much it scatters.

You don't care who it affects or who dies or who is left to wander.

But soul incinerator, you met your match for I am the Demon Hunter.

And your life thread has been cut and your soul is now mine.

Now its your life in my hands are on the line.

LOve

Know that I'm here to save you, that I am not your killer.

I'm always right here and that you'll thank me later.

That I will not let you die, that you will survive.

That I am here when you are need of a guide.

I will hold out my hand.

When the times comes when you cannot stand.

I am here now and for as long as you want me to be here.

I am never gonna be far I will always be near.

Even Death smiles upon something that is so rare and true.

That I am in your heart and mine is in you.

Coming Clear

I can never die on you, I'll wait here for you can't you see?

I feel more alive, when you're here beside me.

So what if you had seen the darkest side of me.

You've helped me believe it's not the real me.

You stopped me feel so used up, so let down and empty.

Instead you let me not be ripped off, stepped on and angry.

You're the only one.

Refusing to back down.

When I start to push away.

You take root and stay.

You make me face what I need to see.

You refuse to let me drown in this ocean of misery.

Pick me up and let me dry in the sunlight.

You give me strength and might.

You are the daylight.

In the dead of night.

It's all coming clear.

That you are here and near.

I am yours here, now and forever.

That with you in my life it's so much better.

Above the Crowd

In order to stand above the crowd.

You have to shout, to yell and be loud.

To be be silent and go with words unspoken.

Can kill more souls and leave hearts dead and broken.

Standing on your own.

Doesn't always mean you have to be alone.

Being tough and strong.

Isn't always right or wrong.

Do you think you ever think about you went through?

Is it all together or did it all come unglued.

If you don't like the way things are going.

Then its up to you to stand up and do something.

Force yourself to take a risk , stand up and fight.

Take life by the horns and bend it to your will with your might.

To jump in over your head.

Is better than drowning and left for dead.

To suffer and keep on trying.

Is Better than be peaceful and dying.

Suffering just reminds us that we are among the land of the living.

That this world is so harsh and unforgiving.

Having anger and agony.

Is so much better than numb and misery.

Let It Die Not By Me

Stop trying to blame me for all your lies.

I am no the one who let it all die.

That I didn't try.

Is one huge lie.

I just don't care about you anymore.

Since you left my heart broken upon the floor.

The fire in your eyes is gone.

Yet you blame me for everything that went wrong.

It's not fair that you say I didn't even try.

That it was me to let everything die.

When it was you who walked away.

Yet you want me to take your sins and pay.

With my life, my heart my soul.

Sorry, that's not gonna happen no more.

You were the one to give up on me to be with her.

No longer with lies you will lure.

Me into your darkness and bullshit.

I am done with you , this is it.

It all became so crystal clear.

That to live a life without you here.

Last One Standing

Don't ever put your life in someone's hands if they are gonna just steal it away.

Don't ever bury all of your mistakes, cause they will just come back and haunt you anyway.

Don't ever try to heal something that just wants to remain broken.

Don't ever go around being silent when there are words that need to be spoken.

Getting out alive doesn't always mean to keep running for the rest of your life.

It doesn't mean to let others stab you in the back with a knife.

It doesn't always mean to lie down and die.

Sometimes it means to get up and fight with all you got inside.

Even if means you are the last one standing.

Even if it means you are all alone and crying.

Don't give in when they are others dying.

Don't give up, don't ever stop trying.

To be the last source to be the last one maybe more than enough.

To one person than having a million people trying to act tough.

Keep standing your ground.

You will never be lost. For everyone in the end gets found.

Dying standing is much more honorable than on your knees.

It just means that you did your best, letting your soul die free.

Gone Forever

After this time I had to reflect and recall.

After you let us fail and fall.

I feel so much better.

That you are finally gone forever.

It's all coming so clear.

That I really didn't need you here.

The first time you made me cry, made me scream.

I should of pushed you away, should of made you leave.

Never shall you break my heart again, not ever.

I hope you realize that I am gone forever.

Out of you life for good.

This is what I should.

Never try to fix what went wrong between us ever again.

Never let myself go through this pain.

I know you are missing me.

I know I made you see.

That I my life is so much better.

With you out of it forever.

Untitled

Standing by my own reflection seems so uncanny, so unreal.

When you are in a world so empty and gutless and surreal.

Never knowing who is at your back.

Who will defend you or will attack.

How can you expect to find the meaning life?

When it's hanging by the tip of a sliver knife?

Both sides are sharp as steel and so unforgiving.

Is the the way to go on living?

Living this life to waste.

Is such a disgrace.

Everything is so suffocating when everything comes unglued.

When your world comes crashing all around you.

To be put out of my misery.

Is too damn easy.

It's one thing when you don't even try.

But it's another when you keep on asking why.

We are willing to go on and suffer through all of this pain.

When all of our dreams, souls and heart lay slain.

To be pushed as far as I can go.

All I can do is trust in myself this I know.

In the end of it all does it really matter when I leave this world here.

In what I am leaving behind in this world behind is nothing is what I fear.

To leave out the rest and just remember what was the best.

To be honored and not rewarded is the great test.

Back Stabber's Justice

Not all of the mouth wash could clean this bad taste I have in my mouth.

Watching all your hopes go further south.

Disgusted with what I have seen.

How could someone be so low? Be so mean?

For all the bull shit I went through.

All the pain and misery I got from you.

You make me want to spit on your grave.

Your soul is not worth anything to me to save.

All the people you have knew.

Watch them disappear into the blue.

You threw away what was good in your life.

You betrayed everyone by stabbing us in the back with your knife.

You chose a bottom feeding skank over your own blood.

I hope you drown in your misery flood.

I hope you have my room ready down in Hell.

Cause I will kick your ass there after living my life so well.

Simple Things.

A pack of wolves, a murder of crows.

These are some of the friends I have and know.

A pint of blood is what I need.

When I lay here with a wound that bleeds.

A million dollars, a faithful partner or a tasty dish?

Are some of the things on my life's list title wish.

A hot cup of good coffee and body to cuddle and a half pure soul.

Is what I try to have each day, my simple goal.

A world of no pain, suffering, war or children screaming.

Is something I wish would happen instead of dreaming.

Wondering if my life is enough to give.

Worth enough so someone else can live.

Before That Strip Turned Blue

Before that strip turned blue,

I would of taken any bullet for you.

Before that strip turned blue,

I would of drank 10 motorcycles, blue.

Before that strip turned blue,

I would of inhaled some fine greenish smoke with gray hue.

Before that strip turned blue,

I would of lived my life so reckless and true.

Before that strip turned blue,

I would of ate all the Valium and Xanax I could chew.

But...

That strip did turned blue.

So I have to dodge the bullets meant for you.

That strip turned blue,

No more drinking motorcycles, blue.

That strip that turned blue,

No longer I should inhale anymore green smoke with grey hue.

That strip turned blue,

I have to stop living my life so reckless that is so true.

That strip turned blue,

I have to refuse the Valium and Xanax I could chew.

That strip turned blue,

I had another life that came before you.

What grew inside of me is what I did choose.

What would of my life be like if that strip did not turn blue.

Angel's Music and Demon's Lyrics

Haunting melody, an angel's music with a demon's lyrics.

No lies within its message to me, it holds no tricks.

Entraps my soul within its magical bonds.

Which I don't have any desire to break free from.

Letting me escape from reality.

Letting me drown in its ever vast sea.

Waves of soothing comforts and washes over me.

Washing away any sin and the heals the scars that are seen.

Turning the tide into a crimson scarlet red.

Can't take back what has been said.

Wishing I can lay here forever by your side.

Letting all of our worries drift away with the tide.

Wanting to remain in this moment and freeze time.

Wanting this heart that I hold to be mine.

Sway to the music getting lost along the way but I do not fear.

For I know you are there, that you are near.

Blind Faith

With all the struggles I'm facing.

All of the chances you are taking.

They may try to break us down with their harsh words that are spoken.

But I refuse to give in. I refuse to be broken.

Even with the mountains I'm always gonna wanna make it move.

I don't care if its an uphill battle, I never will quit, for I refuse to lose.

But the only thing that will ever hurt me and bring down my world.

Is when you decide to give up on me to be with her.

To be pushed aside and given up on is the worst.

Its a pain I wish it never could hurt.

Can you see how much I have so much faith in us?

So much love, so much trust?I am beginning to wonder when can I stop being nice.

And start being cold as ice.

To stomp on the guts on those who break their words.

Slice off their lying head with my razor sharp swords.

To string the guts and search for their empty heart.

To scrap through the bull shit, to tear everything apart.

When is it the right time to let myself go and roar?

To let the blood run and open up these scars and sores?

I am so tired of being the one who has to play nice and be the better one.

When the rest can be allowed to be hard as stone.

Why can't I be the one to solid and refuse to bend?

When? When? When? When?

My Gemini side are so ready to shift the power of the balance.

To let me unleash my full force of my storm with great relish.

I pity the fool who this wrath is upon.

I will be kind enough to count to 10 to give you a fair head start 1.2.10 you better run!

Demon Fighter part 2

My spirit's glow keeps burning brighter.

Nightmares and dreams-capes is where I will find her.

Death, she brings such sweet dreams to me.

I want to let her take me in her arms and drown in her sea.

To be free from such agony and pain.

I often recall on those who I have slain.

Their nightmare and memories haunt me deep.

Never letting me get a peaceful night's sleep.

I quiver and I shake.

Under this earth that quakes.

The thoughts of the lives I have destroyed.

Is something I can never avoid.

Even in death I can not ever rest.

So I keep on fighting all the demons is my life's quest.

Wishing for the death of myself instead of to those I face.

Wishing all this torment will vanish without a trace.

I am the Demon fighter.

My soul keeps on burning brighter.

All for everyone to see.

I shall wander this earth for an eternity.

Believe

You go out of your way.

To let me know you are thinking of me each and every day.

Through all the bumps in the road and all of the bull shit.

Every moment I start to believe more that you are it.

Of all of the fishes in the sea so blue.

I was able to come across and be found by you.

Hard ships are before us.

People will make a great fuss.

About why we want to travel this road together.

Like two birds of a feather.

I am here right next to your side.

Here with love and truth, for I hold no lies.

I am here when you need a hand.

When you start feeling weak in the knees and can not stand.

This what true partners do.

To see everything through.

The good times and the bad and better and for worse.

I will never let you down, I will never lead you off course.

I want to be the one to walk with you every day.

To be by your side all the way.

Wishful Thinking

I WISH I COULD LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT ANXIETY,

WITHOUT FEAR,

WITHOUT HURTING OTHER PEOPLE,

LIVE WITHOUT HURTING MYSELF.

I WISH I COULD LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT MAKING ANY WRONG TURNS,

OR END UP ON ANY DEAD ENDS OR

OFF ON THE WRONG TRACK.

BUT A LIFE LIKE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST.

WE FAIL,

WE TRIP,

WE GET LOST... A LOT,

WE MAKE MISTAKES.

AND LITTLE BY LITTLE ONE STEP AT A TIME,

WE PUSH FORWARD.

IT'S ALL WE CAN DO ON OUR OWN FEET.

EVEN IF WE GET BANGED UP ALONG THE WAY,

EVEN IF WE KEEP OUR SCARS FROM OUR WOUNDS,

EVEN IF WE GET SCARED AND FREEZE IN OUR TRACKS,

EVEN IF EVERYTHING SEEMS HOPELESS AND WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND GIVE IT ALL UP.

With Out.

It's hard to fly with broken wings.

Without a voice it is impossible to sing.

Without tears it's hard to cry.

Without a life it is impossible to die.

To have so much emotion is impossible to be numb.

Without legs its very hard to run.

Without passion there is no love.

Without Hell there is no Heaven above.

Wrathful Warnings

To those who dare.

To those who don't care.

I am here.

I am to make you well aware.

I will hunt you down.

Drag you to Hell is where you are bound.

When you laid your hands upon my child.

My rage inside ran wild.

My blood boiled with seething hate.

You just sealed your poor fate.

Didn't you know that its a dangerous place to dwell.

More fear full to walk into Hell.

To come between a child and mother.

Even if you are family, friend or lover.

Anyone who hurts my child.

You better have a good start, maybe a mile.

Cause I will kick your ass and make you bleed.

Medical attention you will surly need.

I will make you regret ever hurting my own flesh and blood with words or with a knife.

I will make Hell be apart of you for the rest of your dam Life.

Friendship

Friendship is:

Doing goofy things in public.

Sitting on the roof and watch your friend do silly things.

Giving the shoulder to cry on when needed.

Warning those who break your friends' heart will have broken bones.

Having the shovel ready to bury the ones who hurt your friends.

Letting clothes get borrowed without asking.

Giving each other new make overs.

Laughing at insides jokes that no one else understands.

Giving each other an alibi before facing the parents.

Sneaking in friends late at night into the bed room.

Singing silly camp songs while skipping down the hallway in public.

Having burping contests at Denny's.

Looking for spare change in the seats of your parents car.

Willing to get electrocuted while trying to fix a broke down car int he middle of no where.

Painting each others toe and finger nails with bright colors.

Allowed to get silly drunk and dance the night away.

Giving each other rides in the shopping carts in Walmart.

Wanting to name each others kids after each other.

Willing to sit in the ER from crazy stunt that went wrong.

Being there when no one isn't.

Never letting the anyone down.

There to help pick you up when fallen down.

Making sure you get home safe with your underwear on and pride still attached.

There to back you up when there are those who want you dead.

Ready with shovel at hand to bury the ones who try to hurt you.

Willing to stay up late and talk to you on the phone to help keep awake the drive home.

Road trips!

Midnight coffee raids to Denny's.

Steel toe boots to wear at a Phish concert.

Willing to go on a snipe hunt with you at camp.

Flips the sail boat over when one is sunbathing on the starboard.

Not letting you go skinny dipping alone.

Gets all of your inside jokes.

Knows what is on your mind without thinking.

Knows when to help when you don't ask for it.

Knows the truth when you lie.

There when you aren't feeling fine.

There to help without you asking.

Is the peanut butter to your jelly.

Love

Love is:

Sweet kisses on the lips in the rain.

Getting chills down the spine with the lightest touch on the skin.

The first bite of a ripe apple.

Knowing you can be wrong but yet be right at the same time.

The butterflies in your stomach when you see their face.

Getting weak in the knees when you hear their voice on the phone.

The face you see when you first wake up.

The last face you see when you drift off to sleep.

Wiggling your toes int he sand at the beach.

Walking bare foot on the grass in the park.

Is never wanting to let go or let it pass by.

Fearless to jump in to protect the one who has your heart.

Never wanting to hang up the phone so you can get some sleep.

Missing them when they just left the house.

On your mind when you at least expect it.

Finding every excuse to sneak in a hug or a kiss.

Enjoying watching them and not have a reason why.

Sitting in a crowded room but not aware of anyone else there.

Walking in fresh fallen snow.

Swimming in an open body of water with no swimsuit.

A pile of hot pan cakes with real Maple syrup.

A hot bowl of clam chowder on a rainy day.

Sleeping naked in nice cool sheets int he summer.

A warm blanket while outside watching a sporting event.

Cuddling with someone warm on a winter night.

Holding hands while walking down a street.

Wanting to be with someone and wonder what they would look like when they are 80 years old.

A feeling that you never want to end.

Childhood

Childhood is:

Eating watermelon on the front porch.

Blowing bubbles.

Coloring the side walk with color chalk.

Eating candy until you get a stomach ache.

Getting up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons.

Making mud pies.

Swimming in rain puddles.

Making snow angels in fresh fallen snow.

Having a snow ball fight.

Drinking chocolate milk with a straw.

Having fun in a toy store.

Sitting on Santa's lap to tell him what you want for Christmas.

Loving the smell of new crayons from the box.

Licking the cake batter off a spoon.

Blowing out candles on your birthday cake.

Carrying your blankie.

Having tea with your stuff animals.

Talking to your imaginary friend.

Falling asleep while listening to your father telling bedtime stories.

Listening to your mother's voice while she sings.

Laughing with your siblings.

Searching for the free toy in the cereal box.

Wanting the toy with the loudest sounds.

Pretending your a Power Ranger or a Jedi.

Flying a kite.

Having stick sword fights with friends.

Watching fire works at night.

Picking your nose and wiping it on your shirt.

Dressing up your pet in baby doll clothes.

Having pink fuzzy slippers.

Having innocence and never thinking it ever go away.

Die

Slash my wrists and hope to die.

To cover up my traitor mouth before it can cry.

Before the down pour of all my suffering and pain.

Waiting for my light to fade and wane.

I stare up to Heaven knowing that I can't be let in.

Prepare for Hell to carry all of my sins.

The chains of despair and it cuts deep into me making me bleed.

Can't wash away the stains. Can't full fill this evil greed.

Not an ounce of hope can ever heal me.

Throw me to fed upon the sharks in the sea.

Let my body be torn apart.

Like the pieces of my not so whole heart.

Let their jaws crush my bones.

Let my soul sink like a heavy stone.

Let it fall straight into Hell.

Where forever where I shall dwell.

Darkness Seeds

Swirls of angry emotions causing a tempest inside this shell.

Rage of fury bringing all holy Hell.

Lashing out who ever is there in place.

Not caring who is innocent or not isn't the case.

Hating this moment that this taking place.

Its like like removing every bit of hope and leaving not a single trace.

Being dragged into a place I do want to dwell and live.

But all I had wasn't enough for me to give.

Darkness and shadows are becoming me and I let it all in.

Death and despair and destruction are my desolate sea that I swim.

I've given up take all this bull shit away.

There is nothing more you can do, nothing more than you can say.

Leave me alone to drown in this self made Hell I have made.

My pain, my sorrow and my death is a fair trade.

No longer I have to feel sunlight on my face.

No longer I have to look upon your untouchable face.

An Aggravated Soul

Temperature rising as well as this evil feeling inside.

Biting my tongue is getting harder each and every time.

When we meet

When we greet.

Ice water should be running through my veins.

Instead of this poison that causing this pain.

Trying hard not to scream and shout.

But all these emotions keep wanting to be let out.

But how should I feel?

When you are doubting what is real.

How much more can I say?

Should I just give up or should I let you stay?

You are suppose to bring out the best in me.

Not create the worst of me.

Heart turning hard as steel.

Cold as ice to the touch when it tries to feel.

I don't want to become a ghost of a stranger in your life.

But its hard not to when you had plunged my heart with your knife.

The Acceptance of Defeat

To taste an angel's kiss.

Is something in this life did I miss?

A touch of Heaven to bring me Hell?

All to drown me inside this well.

Thankful that I can swim.

In this ocean filled with sin.

Even angel's wings can be clipped.

And the halo can fall and slip.

Bound for a life in darkness and night?

My eyes burn when I see the light.

A dark spirit mixes with me with such poison in its chemistry.

To drag me to the depths of Hellfire for an eternity.

Is there anyone who is willing to save me?

Am I important enough to anyone who can see?

To be stomped and trampled upon.

To have all my dreams break and be dust in the ground.

Sister Sun and Brother Moon can't help me now.

To have their love and hope I can never accept I can not allow.

I forever shall walk among darkness and pain.

To remain in death is where I remain sane.

Invincible

Hate me or love me

Heal me or Beat me.

Either way you can't kill me.

Cut me down to the bone.

Throw every stick and stone.

Invincible this soul I am.

Try to break me down if you can.

You won't succeed.

Even when I start to bleed.

I will never bend.

I will never give you that kind of satisfaction of that kind of end.

To your will I will never yield.

Even if I was armed with a rusty sword and a broken shield.

In the darkness I give out the light.

I am the moon in the cloud filled night.

Where there is pain I am the anesthetic.

To over come me is truly pathetic.

Just roll over and admit it.

That I will never give up, I will never quit.

Worthless Words

How can I be an angel when my soul is tainted more than yours?

How can I love when my heart lies broken and bleeding upon the floor?

How can I save you from drowning when I don't know how to swim?

How can I can I go to heaven when I carry so many Hells within.

How can I dance without any music to be heard?

How can I speak without saying any words?

Is it possible to cry without sheding any tears?

Is it possible to live a life without any fears?

Purgatory is where I stand.

I belong to no one, no woman or man.

I am worthless to everyone who sees.

Ashamed of what lies inside of me.

How can I bleed when I have no more blood to shed?

How can I live when I feel so dead?

How can I fight for you without any weapons at hand?

How can I make you understand.

I am not worth the time or space to be shared by you.

That I am nothing and that is very true.

Demon Fighter

I am the demon fighter.

Armed with the gasoline, matches and lighter.

Burn baby burn all is well.

I am the demon fighter: welcome to your Hell.

I will kick your ass and make you bleed.

I am what you want , I am what you don't need.

From broken skin blood will spill.

From broken souls comes out ill will.

I am the demon fighter I have no fears.

To those who brings nothing but pain and tears.

I am the demon fighter I will make your life a living Hell.

I am the demon fighter you can't escape my spell.

To the ones who wreak lives of the innocent and weak.

Who lives off the misery of the meek.

I am the demon fighter I protect and save the souls I meet.

I walk the earth among the blood stain ground with bare feet.

I fly with broken wings.

My touch will sting.

To those who have no heart.

I will rip apart.

To those who kill.

I end your life I will.

To those who hurt and are alone.

I will mend your broken soul, I will fix your broken bones.

I will heal you heart, I will show you love.

That all you have to do is call my name and look above.

I am the demon fighter.

Armed with gasoline and a lighter.

I am your moonlight.

In the darkest of the night.

I am the fire that burn with in.

To burn away the soul's pain and sin.

I am the demon fighter just call my name.

To let me in your heart your life will change it will never remain the same.

Infinity

In this universe infinity runs both ways of the scale. So it is never impossible for somethings to happen twice or more. Everything runs in a circle. A cycle that never ends and always begins. So even though we seem lost we can be found again and lost and found over and over again. So don't feel so down and sad when you lose something cause something is always around the next bend, in the next cycle. ANd we are never truly lost just drifted a very far distance but always comes back around. In some form or another. It goes for hope, light, darkness, hate, pain, sadness and love. Everything comes and goes and comes back again.

Here

Walking down the labyrinth path called life.

Only armed with my wits which are sharp as any knife.

Darkness doesn't scare me.

Demons run and fear me.

For I can hold onto them long enough with all my might.

To hold them and let them die in the light.

My hands get bloody from climbing the rough castle walls.

Fearless and determined I know I will not fall.

To scale the top to be near the sky.

I know if I lose my balance, I do not worry cause I can fly.

Maybe not fly but glide enough to land safely on my feet.

Not afraid of everyone's demons I meet.

Even with blood stains hands I can be trusted.

To hold one's heart and not bust it.

I have no reason to lie. I only have truth dwell inside.

I have no reason to leave your side.

I am here with you til the end.

For I am your protector, your angel, your friend.

Numb

Wanting to feel empty inside.

Wanting to find the truth among a sea of lies.

To turn stone cold.

To freeze the heart I hold.

Tried of struggling every and each day.

Letting fate have its way.

To torment this hallow shell of a body.

To pick my brain in its lobotomy.

Letting myself sink to become numb.

To have the water fill up my lungs.

Rather have that fill me than pain.

Wanting to rip out my thoughts in order to be sane.

Is this what I really had become?

To be this heartless, soul empty and numb?

To not to feel no one can ever hurt me.

No one will ever think to seek beneath the sea.

Let the waves wash and hide my ghost.

Letting it drown out what I really wanted the most.

Not wanting to seek out any more joy.

Just throw me away like a broken toy.

Walk no run away while you can.

Just let me stay buried to die in the sand.

Heart Ache.

Heart bleeding from an open wound.

Wishing all this bull shit would come to an end.

Hating where I stand at the cross roads.

So many paths to choose and go forth and through.

Waiting for one to make up its mind.

Times that passes isn't kind.

Wishing I had something to fill in this void.

Possible others I do avoid.

Wishing this story will come to an end.

Wanting to know what is around the bend.

I want to finish but I end up where I start.

Back to what matters most inside this heart.

Irony and fate do not like to play nice.

Making head strong choices , don't think twice.

Wishing I can openly let you know what I feel inside.

But until the time is right I must confide.

Letting it eating and tearing away at my soul.

Waiting for destiny to play its role.

Wanting more than just existing.

Wanting reality than just sitting here wishing.

Hoping someday you will hear the truth of my words.

Before you go and walk out the door.

Thoughts.

All I want is to find a guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will lie under the stars and listen your heartbeat or stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Want to kiss your forehead when your covered in mud.

Want to show you off to the world when you are in rags.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Who thinks you're pretty without any make up on.

One who is constantly reminding you how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.

When you scream he is always calm.

When you slap him and he kisses you instead.

When you cry he hugs you.

When you tell him you hate him he tells you he loves you.

But what is most important that it's not what I want but what I deserve.


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